For my inaugural post I've decided to write about something everyone has experienced; change. Some people love it, some hate it and I, being the Libra that I am, both love and hate change equally. The thrill and anxiety of life's changes squeeze at my wanderlust, feral puppy heart to no end.
For the last two years, I've lived out of a suitcase. Istanbul, Michigan, Delaware, Philadelphia and Virginia. It was a strange concept to realize my longest stay was Istanbul and an even stranger concept to return home to Oregon after finding my "home away from home" in Michigan. As overjoyed as I was to return to family and friends, my first night back in Oregon I cried (more like sobbed) in my own bed. I cried for the loss of my Michigan family, my travel adventures, the thought of potentially falling into life's rut and also at the exhaustion I had experienced over the last two years. Honestly, I probably cried at the exhaustion over the last decade.
My life as a professional nanny (which could fill up an entire blog post every day) along with pursuing a full time university degree left me ragged and emotionally drained at the end of each day. I spent more time driving around in my car and at other people's homes then I did anywhere else. When I was at home, I was staring at my computer for school related obligations then passing out around midnight to be up the next morning and tending to kiddos by 7am. The downtime I had from graduation until my relocation to Turkey was only 2 months. PS I had a huge panic attack and started sobbing 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave for the airport and move to another country. Ug; change.
Now I'm back in Oregon, surrounded by boxes that need unpacking, and panicking at the thought of permanently staying (I'm starting to think I don't know how to live with myself). Yet for the first time since I can remember, I've got spare time. Like, REAL spare time. Not the two hours before bed where I'm so exhausted I just watch Netflix. I've got the kind of spare time where I'm able to creatively get lost in an art project and build the artistic foundation for myself that I've been babbling about for so long. The art post-its I've written ideas on over the years are calling my name and I've realized that this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Even though I'm unpacking boxes instead of packing to relocate to another country, I'm still starting a new adventure. If you're still reading this blog, thanks for going on this journey with me. Let's see what I can create over the next year! Also, don't hesitate to send coffee and bourbon. You know, for sanity purposes. ----> http://ko-fi.com/murdocjax