I’m sure most of you can agree, 2017 was a shitstorm. Natural disasters, political disasters, blatant lies to the American people, racism, violence… the asshole who invented fidget spinners, we’ve been beside ourselves. As the New Year approaches and 2017 draws to a close, many of us are carrying the same thought, good riddance. Or as I fondly like to say, fuck that shit.
Now, let’s get personal regarding my 2017. The big highlight: rather than dwell on those bitches who stranded me in the State of Delaware and wouldn’t let me gather my belongings so I could move home, I’m simply going to say, everything happens for a reason.
If they hadn’t been dickholes to me earlier in the year, I wouldn’t have been able to experience a bunch of amazing shit during the middle of the year.
If they hadn't made me so fucking miserable while I was around them earlier in the year, I wouldn’t have discovered someone who is still currently making me laugh and smile. #ThatCostcoCartRide
If I hadn’t worked that shitty ass job at Starbucks this year, I wouldn’t have found confidence and reassurance to continue as a nanny. #ilovemyjob
If I hadn’t moved home and asked the same stupid question one last time, I wouldn’t have realized that I’m truly ready to give up the ghost.
If I hadn’t befriended someone who simultaneously took advantage of friendship while hating my kindness, it wouldn't have led me to someone who needed my kindness.
The world works in mysterious ways and all that shyster bullshit, right?
But I actually believe it.
I believe that bad karma can settle into your bones and fuck your shit up from the inside out. I believe that if you don’t respect people, your house of cards will eventually crash down. I also believe that people deserve at least two chances to prove themselves because we all make mistakes and we shouldn’t judge when others do until they prove to be worthless. I believe in apologizing when I’m wrong, standing up for myself when I’m right, caring for people who need it and… that putting true effort into the world DOES make a difference. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason.
As I sit here waxing poetic, I’ll also tell you that the other day someone said to me, “Why do you feel the need to save everyone?” Do I though?
I mean, that chic on the corner of Market and the I-5 exit ramp was sitting in a wheelchair, holding a sign stating that she needed money. She had REALLY NICE mermaid hair coloring going on though. That shit is not accomplished with box dyes; she clearly paid to get it done. I flipped her off. *shrug* I never claimed to be perfect. I’ll also chase you out of my pack in an instant if you prove you don’t deserve to be there.
If you’re genuinely crying and telling me your soul hurts though, I won’t turn my back on you. I’ve learned that even if the situation goes sour, it eventually leads me to where I’m supposed to be.
With that being said, should my wolfie spirit animal decide to show you kindness by leaving a dead rabbit at your door, it’s best to appreciate the kind gesture and not dwell on how the dead rabbit came to be.
So as I ponder my New Year’s resolutions for 2018, I’m realizing that I’m mentally and emotionally stronger than I’ve been in a while and I genuinely like who I am. I’m still kind of broken and rough around the edges but it’s a good start. So what’s up 2018? I’m coming for you.
Take a gander at the accompanying art at: https://www.instagram.com/p/BdXFfiAniFp/?taken-by=murdocjax