Once Upon A Time… Donuts!

Remember when I spent this entire summer chasing FOUR, young kids around? Me either; it was all such a blur. Despite hazy memories abound, I do remember a definitive moment in the beginning of July, two weeks before one of my best friends moved away. It’s hard to forget about eating a massive amount of donuts from SIX different donut shops. So let’s relive that memory together, shall we?

My friend and I often talk about a lot of ridiculous things. One time, while watching tv, I commented how I wanted an entire coffee table full of assorted candies like they had on the show. The irony is, I’m not a huge sugar person so it never happened. (Keep that in mind as I tell this tale.) I just liked the IDEA of a table full of various candy. With this friend, I discovered that s’mores made with cookies (instead of graham crackers) are a million times better and also, I’m not allowed to choose my own non-dairy, froyo toppings without becoming sick. So OF COURSE I had discussed making a personalized donut tour when I first returned home after living away for a few years.

Side note: It’s not as if my friend is addicted to sugar either it’s just when we hang out, life seems to slow down a bit and we’re able to appreciate the silly things. I’ve done tons of stupid shit with my friend that didn’t involve sugar but those stories are for another day. Back to the donut tour.

As I helped pack throughout the days, the realization that my friend was moving began to sink in. We talked about taking a personal day to do something just for us and my friend mentioned the donut tour. We decided we were going to legitimately drive around Portland and pick out every donut we ever wanted to try because, You. Only. Live. Once. Insert eye roll here regarding phrasing but does any other phrase really do a full blown, donut tour justice?

Obviously you can’t just go on a donut tour and expect to make it to the end. No, no… there are RULES. The main rule was, we couldn’t try all the donuts until the END of the tour. DUH, I didn’t want vomit in my car and DUH, a tummy full of donuts would have made us desire more/other donuts less. Our passion to try all the donuts needed to remain throughout each location, to ensure we succeeded in this one time only tour.

Other rules when choosing donuts, we were required to share everything and also that we could take one bite of a donut that we absolutely needed to try fresh. My friend’s few bites came from Doe and Blue Star whereas mine were from Pip’s and Nola’s. GOOD GOD… NOLA’S… *drool* but I digress. I brought rubbermaid travel containers with us for potential overflow donuts and we set out on our way.

After traveling an hour, we arrived at our first location and I needed to pee. They didn't have a bathroom and directed us to the Jack in the Box across the street. It wasn’t the nicest neighborhood but I had previously injected a ton of coffee into my veins and couldn’t focus on donuts so off to Jack’s we went. A quick pee and small fry later, I realized we were next to a delicious bánh mì shop so obviously we decided to eat Vietnamese sandwiches and drink boba before our donut tour.

At this point you might be wondering about all the places we went to. We mapped out everything beforehand in order to save time and chose places we felt had distinct variety. AKA We weren’t trying to eat the same donut everywhere we went. Some of our choices included donuts being vegan, donuts having seasonal flavors, donuts being unique to only that establishment, etc. etc. Here’s the shop list:

  1. Doe Donuts

  2. Blue Star Donuts

  3. Coco Donuts

  4. Pip’s Original

  5. Voodoo Doughnut

  6. Nola Doughnuts

There was a seventh location on our list but they were already out of donuts for the day. (You snooze you lose in the donut world.)

I’m not going to launch into which had what and what we liked the best because this isn't a review. I will say though, that Pip’s had a rice based iced tea that I could NOT stop drinking. Seriously, it was a delicious, refreshing iced tea with a lovely sticky rice after taste. HOW?!

Anyway, after all the donuts were purchased (and a quick pit stop at Powell’s to sell some books) we headed home. Once home, we took allllllllll the donuts out and staged them for photos. For real, when would we ever have that many donuts again?! As I pulled them out, I laughed at all the little hidden mouse-like bites my friend had eaten. To which I kept saying, when did you even take a bite of this one?

After photos were taken, we basically stood around pointing to donuts we wanted to try first and cutting taster bites. Triumphantly, we tried them all and trust me when I say, we felt more than slightly ill afterward. Donut taster bites are still sugar no matter how small the bite.

There were plenty of leftovers and we shared them with everyone we knew. It was fun to tell people about our adventure while letting them try the donut variety. That evening, I thought I might vomit at the thought of eating any more donuts. However the next morning, in true Homer Simpson fashion, I genuinely exclaimed, “Oooohhhh! Donuts!” and ate more tasters.

It’s almost the end of September and my friend has been gone for two months. There’s so many times I’ve already wished I could hang out again. As I write this blog, I’m thankful for our unique friendship and the things we’ve experienced together. Not many people would agree to a donut tour and enjoy it as whole heartedly as we did. Our donut tour turned a potentially sad experience of moving away into a happy, memorable adventure. It’s a story that will never get old. Remember that time we went on a donut tour? Remember that time we ate all those donuts?

Once upon a time… donuts!

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